“Work at
getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much
as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a
sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can
ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away
God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know
how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then
it was too late, tears or no tears.”
Hebrews
12:15 (The Message)
Forgiveness is a struggle… but in His faithfulness, God
continues to gently prune this area and to reveal His unwavering truth during
this season of my life. Many of us have heard people say things like, “Unforgiveness
only hurts ourselves,” or “Our inability to forgive harms our relationship with
God.” I won’t argue the accuracy of these statements; however, comments like those also make me
feel incredibly guilty about my inability (my unwillingness) to forgive the
people in my life that have betrayed me. Often times, I become so overwhelmed
with this guilt that I will profess forgiveness with my lips… only to find it
tightening its death grip around my heart.
I’m also
very much aware that my unwillingness to extend forgiveness is centered around my
pride… completely, 100%, totally consumed by it. When I have been wronged, I want an apology…
at the very least, an acknowledgment that I deserve one. I believe in fairness and justice… but
sometimes I forget about mercy… sometimes I choose to look the other way
because my heart aches too much. But,
alas, my failure to forgive always leads to the hardening of my heart. Consumed
by bitterness and resentment, anger fills my mind and escapes from my lips. And such behavior never brings glory to our
Savior. This is what divides churches, ends friendships, splits up families.
Some things seem unforgivable. Sometimes the pain and anger rage within us
for so long, that in a weird and twisted way they become our comfort and
companion. For many of us, we’ve tried
to forgive… but it’s easier said than done in some cases. God has gently pressed
upon my heart that sometimes our willingness to forgive needs to be put at the
feet of Jesus more than once. Sometimes we
have to lay it at His feet everyday for weeks, months, years, decades…maybe
every single day until we leave this world and meet our Savior. Forgiveness,
like so much of our faith, is a journey that requires trust in Jesus. We must trust that He sees the bigger
picture. We must trust that He works all
things out for our good. We must trust
that every betrayal, every shattered heart, every solemn word broken serves a
greater purpose. We must trust that all things, no matter how horrible, can be
redeemed through the blood of Jesus. It
is a promise unlike any other. And, if at this very moment, the thought of
forgiveness still seems incredibly distant, place before Jesus a heart willing
to be open and receptive to the amazing possibility. I have seen hearts mended, marriages
redeemed, friendships restored, and wounds healed by the act of forgiveness…
covered completely by the grace of God.
Challenge
Has unforgiveness grabbed a hold of your heart? If so, spend
time asking Jesus to loosen its grip. If
your heart is at a very tender place on this subject, spend time seeking His
comfort, as well as His wisdom. If
possible, share with your children any real life experiences you’ve had with
the stronghold of unforgiveness. Give
them examples of how a heart can turn toward bitterness and resentment, but
also share how God can restore relationships for His glory. Our children need to hear that life can be
messy… but that He’s there to take care of it.
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